nicotine free

it’s been a week that my lungs have gone to break from suffocating. i want to quit. i could no longer take cigarettes like a convenient store. the fastest and pathetic way to vent out stress. slight masochism. delighting the flurry of white feathery curls passed onto the air while staggering your lungs to its exhaustion and to your death. hmm. not a bad idea for a totally hopeless person. though there are numerous things that i like about smoking. from opening a fresh pack, flipping and separating a wish stick, lighting, inhaling, exhaling white curls, tapping ashes into the ashtray or onto the floor, up to the filter and finally throwing the butt into a projectile form. but the best thing i like about it is you get to flatter and feed your inmost fantasy through a superstition that someone’s thinking of you when your cigarette tip’s perfectly pointed. hmm. see, i told you it’s not good to smoke. it will only damage your sense of reality. seriously, i want to grow out of stress without depending on vices just to cope. so i’m tearing down the habit.